Impossible Desires (novella) Read online

  Impossible Desires

  Tamsin Baker

  Impossible Desires

  Tamsin Baker

  A widow who likes to control. An earl with no time for innocence. A relationship bound by dark needs and subversive desires set in the glittering world of Regency England.

  Lord Gareth Osborne is a wealthy earl in need of a wife, but the insipid debutantes he encounters do not fulfil the darkest fantasies of his soul. He fears that it will be impossible to find a woman who will satisfy his needs and make a suitable companion, until he meets the sensual, self-assured Eleanor.

  Lady Eleanor Rossette is newly widowed, though not unhappily so. Her marriage put her into the hands of an abusive, controlling man, and Eleanor knows she will never surrender her control again. She yearns for a strong, passionate man who will yield to her in the bedroom, and she wants that man to be Lord Osborne…

  About the Author

  Tamsin Baker is an Aussie girl who just discovered erotic romance ten months ago. Before that, she would read sexy romance, skipping the plot and looking for the all the naughty bits. Since then, she has written erotic romance and erotica novels of varying length and has had fourteen published (so far!). She absolutely loves reading and writing! She has two other jobs, including kids and a hubby too – but writing is a passion that she has to indulge for fear of insanity.

  M/M is a passion of hers so even when she writes ménage, there is always an M/M story. She particularly enjoys writing female dommes, but she loves experimenting in all genres. Tamsin is learning to write and read more one step at a time. Soon, she’ll have stories published in every sub-genre of erotic romance – well that’s her aim anyway!

  Acknowledgements

  To the people who organise and create NaNoWriMo every year. Thank you. This story could not have been written without you.

  To Gina Kincade, Bianca Sarble and Kissa Starling – my amazing trio of BDSM beta readers and critique partners. Thank you all for your amazing support and help! I could not have done this without you all!

  Contents

  About the Author

  Acknowledgements

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Bestselling Titles by Escape Publishing…

  Chapter 1

  London 1815

  Gareth perused the room and shook his head. He was destined to be disappointed again. At five and thirty, he had promised himself he would find a bride this Season. Yet no one suited him. As a wealthy Earl, he needed neither a dowry nor high connections in a wife. She needed to be a lady of good breeding of course, but he longed for so much more than that.

  He wanted beauty, he wanted intelligence, and above all else he wanted a woman who could please him in bed – and that was not an easy task.

  He sighed and walked away from the ballroom. Ladies whispered as he stalked past and Gareth’s breeding demanded he acknowledge them with a small nod. He wished he could publicly denounce them for the invasion.

  “What I want is impossible.”

  Placing both hands on the marble balustrade, he hung his head.

  A woman’s voice whispered behind him. “Nothing is impossible, my lord.”

  A flush of blood stained his cheeks when he realized the lady was responding to what he had said. A very private thought that he had voiced aloud.

  His cock stirred at the tone of her voice, but his social armor slipped into place. He was an eligible bachelor and alone on the balcony at a social engagement. He had to be careful with whom he was seen with and spoke to.

  “Good evening, my lady.” Gareth bowed and scanned the shadows from whence the voice came.

  He was in the market for a wife but he was not averse to obtaining a mistress as well. He hadn’t had a permanent one in a while and if he couldn’t find what he needed in a long-term commitment, then a mistress would suffice.

  Out of the shadows stepped a spectacular woman in pink silk. Her black hair was gently coiffed and her neckline was more daring than most. Even so, Gareth could see the breeding, and smell the refinement in her.

  “Excuse my rudeness, my lord, but I could not stop myself from responding to such words.”

  The woman curtsied without introducing herself, and fluttered her fan over her bosom.

  Gareth’s eyes unerringly swung to her décolletage, where her ample charms were lushly displayed. His body stirred at the sight of her soft breasts swelling out of her dress. He truly loved a woman with more flesh than less.

  He bit the inside on his cheek, tasting blood and groaning as the pain aroused him further. He had never understood that about himself.

  “Are you hurt?” the lady inquired with a quizzical brow.

  Gareth shrugged, unable to move forward lest his erection become more obvious.

  “I am very well, thank you, my lady. I have not yet introduced myself, yet you seem to know who I am?”

  The woman laughed and circled him. His back straightened in wariness as she moved around him. He wasn’t used to being looked at with such blatant regard, completely forsaking the rules of society, and he was discovering that he didn’t like it.

  “If you would excuse me.” Gareth bowed again and turned to leave the company of the woman who was both intriguing and insulting. Her presence was exciting him far too much and he wasn’t sure exactly why. It was unacceptable to feel this way whilst at a ton ball.

  “I will not excuse you, Gareth. Come back.”

  The soft words had steel behind them and he walked straight back to her. He was drawn like a moth to a flame.

  “I am Lady Eleanor Rossette. My husband was the late Baron of Vartone and I have come to London specifically to make a new match.”

  His eyebrows lifted, shocked by both her approach to him and by her speech.

  He had heard of the Baron and known he had died, but Gareth had not realized the man had left behind such a widow. Why hadn’t anyone told him a woman like her was available?

  But then, when had he been looking at anything other than eighteen-year-old virgins? No wonder he didn’t want one of them when this was the sort of woman that aroused him in such a manner.

  She was beautiful and she was strong. He wanted that.

  “You wish for a husband, Lady Rosette? What attributes do you need? Perhaps I can suggest someone for you?”

  He offered his arm to the lady and drew her closer. She had the most remarkable green eyes and Gareth felt his body harden once again.

  Her gloved hand rested lightly on his arm as she allowed him to draw her back to the entrance of the ballroom.

  She waved at the assembly of the ton’s elite.

  “I want a gentleman who doesn’t need money.”

  He nodded. It was not an unusual request for a lady – especially if she was without money herself.

  “You have no dowry or inheritance?” He pitched his voice low out of respect for her feelings.

  Lady Rossette laughed, the husky sound causing the hairs on Gareth’s arms to prickle.

  My God.

  What was it about this woman that affected him so strongly?

  “Quite the contrary I assure you, my lord. However, I have no wish to become prey to a fortune hunter.”

  He smiled – a rare sight. This woman was unusual indeed and that alone attracted him. He nodded towards the overcrowded ballroom. He needed a distraction.

  “The gentleman standing by the punch bowl has twenty thousand a year and is ready to marry.”

  Garet
h heard himself suggesting young Lord Werthing while at the same time, his hand folded over hers. He was trying to be a sophisticated ton gentleman, but if he was honest, he wanted her for himself. He did not want to hand her off to some other lord. She was a rare beauty, with a spirit to match. Everything inside Gareth was screaming MINE, but he stilled the beast within.

  “Does he ride?”

  Her question made his mouth kick up at the corner. Not unless riding meant in a carriage.

  “Not well.”

  “Does he box?”

  Gareth wanted to laugh aloud at this one, his head growing a little giddy. He had never been so entertained by a woman before – how peculiar to find the quality in one this beautiful.

  “Sadly, no.”

  “Do you know another gentleman, my lord, who perhaps has those attributes?”

  A grin began to stretch across Gareth’s face as he pretended to scan the room. There was no other man in London who would suit her…other than him.

  It was time to make his intentions known.

  “Perhaps you would come home with me this evening?”

  Again, she laughed her throaty laugh and Gareth experienced a fresh wave of lust. What an amazing sound.

  “Perhaps I won’t, my lord. I play for keeps.”

  Gareth felt his heart give a strange kick at her declaration. He chose to ignore it.

  “And I play for fun.”

  Lady Rossette squeezed his arm and sighed. “Hmm, I know.”

  She disengaged her hand and sashayed away.

  Gareth moved back into the ballroom to follow her. He had never been so intrigued by a woman before. He had always believed he would have to marry a virgin. Perhaps he didn’t.

  A well-bred widow had the same advantages of a well-bred virgin without any of the setbacks. However, he needed an heir and he knew the Baron had died without one. That was worrying.

  “Lord Osborne.” An older gentleman bowed in front of him and Gareth struggled to remember the man’s name. He was usually excellent at remembering people’s details, but the woman had rattled his brain somehow.

  “My lord, how are you this evening?”

  “I am well, thank you. Have you heard anything more about the India Trading Company that we were discussing last sennight?”

  Gareth smiled and began to rattle off what he had recently learnt about his new investment. He knew this world inside out – the world of the London ton, with their proper behavior and thousands of rules. He followed every one, which was why he had remained unmarried for so long.

  For he desperately craved another world – a darker one. He wanted to experience a grand passion and he needed a woman that would inspire such desire. The woman he had met tonight had a dominance that he found arousing. It was also an exceptionally uncommon thing to find in a woman.

  Why did he feel as though the key to the new life he craved was Lady Rossette?

  Chapter 2

  The following evening, Gareth stood at the edge of another ballroom, willing Eleanor over to him. He watched as she flirted with an older Marquis and a younger Viscount. Why was she bothering with either of them? Those gentlemen both needed to marry wealthy virgins.

  “I see that Lady Rossette has found the Viscount. She had been asking about him.”

  Gareth heard his best friend’s voice and cringed. He didn’t want to talk to anyone. He wanted to watch Eleanor.

  Clenching his stomach to quell the urge to push his friend away, he turned and smiled.

  “Patrick.” He extended his hand to his handsome friend. “You know Lady Rossette?”

  Patrick smiled and raised an eyebrow.

  “Yes, though only briefly. She spoke to me earlier tonight. Quite a striking woman.”

  Gareth watched his friend stare at Eleanor for a little longer than he should have. He clenched and unclenched his fists against the need for violence. What was wrong with him tonight?

  “She is. I met her last night, but know nothing about her.” Gareth changed the tone of his voice to indicate his interest, hoping his gossipy best friend would pick up on it.

  Patrick smiled a cat-that-ate-the-canary smile and took a slow sip of his whiskey.

  “She is looking to marry, and I hear she will have nothing to do with anyone who wants otherwise.”

  He nodded. This information should hasten his disinterest. Instead, the hunter in him awoke from a long sleep, stretched his arms above his head, and picked up his bow and arrow. It was time for action.

  “She has no dowry?”

  His friend laughed heartily and drank again.

  Several people turned to look at them. Boisterous behavior was not tolerated in London ballrooms. Perhaps they should move to the card room?

  “She has more money than I, my friend. She doesn’t need to marry.”

  Gareth turned to stare at the lady who so intrigued him, surprise written on his face at that exact moment she looked up and stared directly back at him.

  Eleanor felt her belly quiver and heat pool between her legs. Gareth Osborne was indescribable. He was classically beautiful, it was true, but that wasn’t what attracted her. He was power, he was control, and he was going to be hers.

  She needed someone who could awaken the passion that grew inside of her. Like a wild rose, it demanded to thrive. She had wilted and almost died in her previous marriage, due to neglect and abuse. She refused to allow that to happen again.

  Eleanor would choose wisely, and she would get what she needed. She would be loved and she would be Mistress. She just needed to be clever about it.

  “Would you join me for a walk around the gardens, my lady?” the young Viscount enquired with only the slightest glance at her décolletage.

  Eleanor smiled in acceptance and took the offered arm. The man was a dandy but otherwise harmless. She would use him to take her to Gareth.

  “I would prefer a walk on the balcony if you do not mind, my lord. I have a small headache.”

  She pressed her fingers to her temples and hid a smile when the Viscount agreed. He was a nice man, a true gentleman. If she needed that, then he would be perfect. But she had need for someone, and something, so much more.

  “Are you staying in London for the Off Season, my lady?” the Viscount enquired with a raised eyebrow.

  Eleanor laughed. Not if she could help it.

  “I do not flourish well in London I am afraid, my lord.”

  “That is a pity, because London looks well on you.”

  She smiled at his compliment but all she wanted was more moments alone with her chosen partner. How to achieve that?

  “Thank you for bringing me into the night air, my lord. Would you be so kind as to fetch me a glass of punch?”Eleanor smiled as prettily as possible and watched the Viscount’s face crumple. The punch was on the other side of the ballroom.

  But good manners dictated that he retrieve it for her and being a widow, Eleanor was free to be alone.

  “Of course, my lady.”

  She watched the young lord scurry off and took a deep breath as she walked out towards the gardens. There was beauty to be found everywhere, even in London.

  “You got rid of the whelp, I see.”

  Eleanor smiled and wrapped her arms around herself. His voice sent shivers racing across her skin. She could only imagine what his lips might do.

  “That is not kind, Gareth.”

  She kept her eyes fixed ahead and used the rest of her senses to reach out to him. His swift intake of breath made her smile again.

  “Why do you call me Gareth?”

  She turned at this and felt her stomach leap. His black eyes were ablaze with passion for her. She had not been wrong about him.

  “That is your name, is it not?” She dropped her arms to her sides and allowed her figure to be easily appraised. His eyes didn’t waver from hers. He stared into her eyes and that pleased her greatly.

  “No one calls me Gareth, not even my parents.”

  His confusion was clear,
and triumph filled her. Shock was a new emotion to the man in front of her. Good.

  “Gareth, you may call me Eleanor if it would make you feel more comfortable.”

  She smiled again, unable to stop herself. Fun was a new aspect in her life and she intended to keep it.

  “Eleanor, come home with me.”

  The look of shock on Gareth’s face made her wonder if he had even registered the words in his brain before they spilled from his lips. He then clenched his jaw and raised his head a fraction. He may not have meant to speak aloud, but it was clear to Eleanor that he had meant what he had said.

  She couldn’t go home with him. Not yet. Her future happiness with this man depended on him wanting to keep her for more than one night.

  “Ask me again next time we meet,” she whispered, putting all of her longing into her eyes, allowing him to see how much she wanted him.

  He growled in response and took a step towards her.

  Her stomach dropped in anticipation of his action. Would he kiss her right here on the balcony?

  As though she had planned it to stop his advance, the Viscount stepped out onto the balcony with her drink.

  “My lady.” He half bowed as he rushed the glass to her fingertips.

  Eleanor smiled in thanks and drank the cold liquid in one gulp. Her throat was sore and dry – when had that happened?

  “My lord.” The viscount bowed in greeting to Gareth and stepped closer to her side.

  Eleanor smothered her smile and looked up again at her chosen mate.

  Gareth inclined his head and she curtsied low. “I hope you are feeling better soon, Lady Rossette.”

  She watched him walk away and found herself wishing that their courtship was already over. She had to tread so carefully, build their relationship up to how it should be. Yet she wanted nothing except a life with that man. She was so impatient she could scream.

  “Do you know Lord Osborne well?” Eleanor asked the Viscount.

  The man colored and glanced after Gareth.

  “Only through social circles, Lady Rossette. He is a very private man.”